


Skip to Chapter Five

by baekingneeds



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Happy ending don't worry, Lots of Angst, M/M, Romance, Smut, i think it's happy, memory lost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 08:28:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16761583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekingneeds/pseuds/baekingneeds
Summary: All Baekhyun wanted was to redo his whole life.But all Chanyeol wanted was for his fiancée to remember him again.





	1. I get to love you. It's a promise I'm making to you

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, Chanyeol!!
> 
> Posting a fic on his birthday for three years in a row and counting! Heavily inspired by The Vow and [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3BkDESKFSA).
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> (I can't write smut)

“…and that’s it from us today! Once again, we are _Untwinned_!” Baekhyun shouted into the microphone, his words drowning in the cheers and whistles of the crowd that had gathered in the underground pub that night.

It was a full house again, like all the other nights they had performed. But that night seemed more special than usual. Maybe because it was their 100th performance together. Maybe because it was almost Christmas and the festive atmosphere always put Baekhyun in a better mood than normal. Or maybe, because that night, Baekhyun was falling in love all over again.

It might be the way Chanyeol had woken him up that morning with breakfast in bed. It might also be the way Chanyeol spent an hour kissing him in bed after breakfast. Or maybe, it might be the way Chanyeol told him ‘I love you’ before their performance.

Laughing giddily with sweet thoughts filling his head, Baekhyun turned back to smile at Chanyeol who was sitting behind the drum set, grinning back at Baekhyun lopsidedly.

After thanking their bassist, Minseok, and guitarist, Jongdae, for the nth time that night, the other two left while Baekhyun and Chanyeol went to the dressing room to pack up a little. They were practically the only band that performed there anyway so the backroom technically belonged to them.

“We should head back soon too,” Baekhyun said from where he was lying on the only couch in the room. It was all torn and tattered, like any couch one could find in the dressing room of an underground pub. “It’s getting dark soon.”

“Are you afraid of the dark?” Chanyeol quoted an old TV show’s name.

“I’m not laughing.”

“I didn’t say it was supposed to be funny.”

Stretching lazily, Baekhyun yawned before pushing himself off the couch and going to where Chanyeol was polishing his drum set. Sliding his arms around Chanyeol’s waist, Baekhyun leaned against his back. Bringing his hand to the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt, Baekhyun slid his fingers underneath it before running them over the hard lines on the drummer’s stomach.

“Stop that,” Chanyeol complained, but he threw his cloth aside to turn around and kiss Baekhyun fully on the lips.

“Mmm,” Baekhyun hummed when he pulled away from Chanyeol, looping his arms around the other’s neck and gazing up at him with desire flashing in his eyes. “A live show with you always makes me horny.”

Chuckling, Chanyeol looped a strand of Baekhyun’s hair around a finger and pulled lightly as he tutted. “What do you mean? You’re always horny.” He released Baekhyun’s hair when the other swatted a hand at him.

“Am not!” Baekhyun protested. In the next second, Chanyeol’s mouth was covering his again, making him take a step back from the sudden impact. But Chanyeol’s hand on the small of his back stopped him from stumbling.

“ _You_ make me horny,” Chanyeol teased and Baekhyun covered his face, faking embarrassment as he laughed loudly. He continued kissing Baekhyun, taking a step forward each time, backing the vocalist until the back of his knees hit the armrest.

Without breaking the kiss, Baekhyun slowly sat down on as Chanyeol bent forward to accommodate their position. Placing a hand on the seat for balance, Baekhyun pushed himself back until he could lie down on the couch while Chanyeol climbed on top of him.

“There’s always too many clothes in between us,” Chanyeol complained as he undid his belt buckle.

“If it were up to you, humans would be naked all the time, wouldn’t they?” Pulling his shirt off, Baekhyun threw it behind the couch. He could look for it later. Then he began to tug at the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt.

Knowing what Baekhyun wanted to do, Chanyeol readily complied, lifting his hands up for Baekhyun to remove his shirt for him.

“I’m down to my underwear and you still have your jeans on.”

“In all fairness, we’re both left with one article of clothing.”

Choking, Chanyeol let his head fall onto Baekhyun’s shoulder. He groaned and pressed his growing erection against Baekhyun’s thigh on purpose. “You’re going to kill me one day.”

“How are you already so hard?” Baekhyun sniggered as he started to undo his pants.

“It’s your fault,” Chanyeol chided while helping Baekhyun get rid of his jeans. The moment Baekhyun’s jeans flew off, Chanyeol went for his neck, littering every spot with kisses and small nips here and there.

“I want to see you too,” Baekhyun demanded, pulling at Chanyeol’s waistband.

In one swift motion, Chanyeol got his boxers off and threw them aside. When their erections brushed against one another, they both hissed in unison. Without any warning, Baekhyun took Chanyeol’s hardened cock in his hand and began to rub it.

“Later,” Chanyeol said, much to Baekhyun’s confusion.

The vocalist only became more puzzled when Chanyeol removed his hand and slid down. Only when Chanyeol began to kiss the side of his knee did Baekhyun (kind-of) understand what Chanyeol wanted to do.

“Oh g – ” the rest of Baekhyun’s words broke off into a moan when Chanyeol began to suck his inner thigh. “Chanyeol,” he breathed out heavily, combing through Chanyeol’s hair to keep his sanity in check. Suddenly, he felt something prodding his entrance and a high-pitched whine escaped from the back of his throat when he realised what it was. “Don’t.” Struggling to move away, he found it futile as Chanyeol put more force into holding him down. “It’s dir – ahh – ” Squeezing his eyes shut, Baekhyun threw his head back, letting it dangle slightly off the armrest.

Squelching noises filled the room, accompanied by soft whimpers leaving Baekhyun’s lips as Chanyeol used his tongue to wet Baekhyun’s hole. When Baekhyun looked down, all he could see was a mop of Chanyeol’s black hair and the scene was oddly obscene yet arousing. Chanyeol’s tongue moved in and out of his hole with ease, drawing moan after moan from Baekhyun as his walls constricted every time Chanyeol withdrew his tongue.

“I’m close,” Baekhyun said, his voice strained and all at once, Chanyeol stopped whatever he had been doing, making Baekhyun sob at the loss of contact. Looking between his own legs, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol lifting his head, face flushed and mouth wet with saliva.

“I’m going in then, baby.” Chanyeol’s voice was rough, sending a shiver of pleasure down Baekhyun’s spine. When he reached for the condom on the table, Baekhyun stopped him.

“I want you to fill me.”

Groaning, Chanyeol pressed his knuckles to his forehead. “You can’t say things like that all of a sudden.”

“But I want you.”

“You sure you’re ready?”

“I may or may not have played with myself before coming to the venue.”

All rationality and thought flying out the window, Chanyeol quickly lined himself up with Baekhyun’s entrance before slamming in.

Opening his mouth in a soundless scream, Baekhyun gripped the top of the couch to steady himself as the force of Chanyeol rocking in and out of him made it shaky. They fell into their usual rhythm easily but as always, their momentum changed the moment Chanyeol lost control and began pounding into Baekhyun relentlessly.

“No wonder my tongue slid in so easily,” Chanyeol growled.

“What did you think?” Baekhyun scoffed. “That I could get _so_ wet?” 

Wanting Baekhyun to shut up, Chanyeol pushed in deeper the next time and stayed there for a while before pulling out and then swiftly slamming back in.

“Fuck me harder, Chanyeol.”

Chuckling, Chanyeol increased his pace, going at an unforgiving pace, making Baekhyun’s breath hitch almost every time their skin slapped against each other. Suddenly, Baekhyun screamed and Chanyeol smirked, knowing that he managed to hit the vocalist’s sweet spot. Committing the spot to memory for the hundredth time, Chanyeol did his best to continue going back to the same place. He slowed down when he felt pressure building in his stomach.

“You sure about this?” Chanyeol’s tone was gentle as he brushed his knuckles over Baekhyun’s cheekbones.

“Just come inside me,” Baekhyun pleaded, eyes shut while his mouth hung open. 

That was it. That was all the confirmation Chanyeol needed to go over the top and release his load. Soon, Baekhyun was coming too, and Chanyeol continued pounding in and out until the end.

“That was crazy,” Baekhyun said tiredly once he calmed down from his high.

“Do you want to go for another round?” Chanyeol joked.

“Not now,” Baekhyun laughed, knowing that Chanyeol hadn’t meant it.

“You are so amazing.” Supporting himself on his elbows, Chanyeol grinned at Baekhyun. “So. So. So. Amazing,” he continued, punctuating each word with a kiss to Baekhyun’s lips. “I love you so much, baby.” By then, Chanyeol was spilling praises and sweet-nothings to Baekhyun as the other hummed in response, moaning when he felt Chanyeol’s hand massaging the back of his bare thigh. “Marry me,” Chanyeol mumbled into Baekhyun’s mouth in between kisses.

“What?” Baekhyun asked, breathless as he pulled Chanyeol’s face closer for another kiss. Eyes widening at the realisation of what Chanyeol had just said, Baekhyun broke the kiss, pushing Chanyeol away when the other leaned down again. “Wait. What?”

“I said ‘marry me’,” Chanyeol repeated easily, sparks of happiness twinkling in his eyes and a toothy grin on his face. “Marry me.” When Baekhyun didn’t say anything for a while, Chanyeol’s face fell. “Or not?”

Quickly shaking his head, Baekhyun squished Chanyeol’s cheeks together. “No, no!” At Chanyeol’s crestfallen expression, Baekhyun hurriedly corrected his words to make himself clearly. “I mean yes! Yes! Of course, I’d marry you!”

“Really?” Chanyeol had proposed wanting Baekhyun to say ‘yes’ but now that the other agreed, he didn’t know why he was so shocked. In the first place, he wasn’t ever supposed to propose like that (not that he had a concrete idea in mind), but his plans just somehow never worked out whenever it came to Baekhyun. 

“Yeah!” Baekhyun exclaimed excitedly, his eyes shining. “Why not? Were you expecting a ‘no’?” He laughed, finding even just the thought of him rejecting Chanyeol’s proposal ridiculous. 

“Because I don’t have a ring or anything.”

Cupping Chanyeol’s face tenderly, Baekhyun smiled up at him with gentle eyes. “I will always say ‘yes’ to you, no matter what.”

“That wasn’t what happened the first time we met,” Chanyeol said softly, making Baekhyun throw his head back in laughter.

_“I’m Chanyeol.”_

_Looking at the taller guy, Baekhyun did a once-over before smirking at him and then turning away._

_“Am I going to get a name?”_

_“Can you get a hint?”_

_“No.”_

_Incredulous but amused, Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol again, this time with a wider smile on his face. Shaking his head, Baekhyun pressed his lips together as he looked up at Chanyeol. “You don’t get a name.”_

_Shrugging, Chanyeol was about to walk away when something caught his eye. “Med school?” he said, nodding towards the textbook sticking out of Baekhyun’s bag. “Pretty heavy to be carrying it around,” he laughed._

_Glaring at Chanyeol, Baekhyun proceeded to stuff his book back into his bag where no one could see it._

_“And what do you study?”_

_“Music,” Chanyeol replied easily with a shrug._

_Blinking in surprise, Baekhyun simply stared at Chanyeol, not knowing what else to say. “Which school?” he eventually asked._

_Narrowing his eyes thoughtfully, Chanyeol nodded to himself. “Self-taught.”_

_Raising a brow in doubt, Baekhyun smiled politely at Chanyeol before he went back to his cup of iced rose tea._

_“Can I buy you a drink?”_

_Unable to control himself, Baekhyun let out a pretty loud laugh, drawing the attention of some other customers nearby. Ducking his head in embarrassment, he quickly sucked on his straw to act like he hadn’t been the one who had been so noisy just moments ago._

_Pulling the chair beside Baekhyun out, Chanyeol took a seat, making the former choke on his tea._

_“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, puzzled about where this was heading._

_“Saving you from your embarrassment,” Chanyeol explained. “Now it just looks like I made you laugh. Though in fact, I really **did** make you laugh.”_

_Baekhyun was trying very hard to force down a smile._

_“So, can I buy you a drink?”_

_Finally, Baekhyun relented because Chanyeol’s eyes were too pretty. “Just one.”_

“You sure you still want to do this?” Baekhyun sounded worried as they stepped into the fancy restaurant that Baekhyun’s mother had a reservation at. “We can just turn around and go to MacDonald’s now if you want.”

“Is that what _you_ want?” Chanyeol teased.

Scowling, Baekhyun continued walking. “No. I just think that meeting my parents isn’t a good idea.”

Nodding, Chanyeol grinned wryly. “Because they hate me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Stopping Baekhyun, Chanyeol turned the shorter to face him by the shoulders. “Hey.” Holding Baekhyun’s chin, Chanyeol leaned forward slightly. “It’ll be fine.” Letting his hand fall back to the side, Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun. “Don’t you think you should at least let them know in person that you’re getting married? They are your parents, after all.”

“Baekhyun, stop standing there.”

The woman’s voice made Chanyeol let go of Baekhyun immediately and he adjusted his suit jacket before turning to face her. “Mrs. Byun,” he greeted respectfully.

Giving Chanyeol a once-over, Mrs. Byun nodded before beckoning Baekhyun to her side.

Ignoring her, Baekhyun took Chanyeol’s hand and walked to the table, sitting them down opposite his father who had already been seated.

“You’re still together with this street artist, Baekhyun?” was his father’s way of greeting.

“He’s not a street artist,” came Baekhyun’s instant defense, just as his mother pulled out the seat next to her husband. “Be nice.” At that point, Baekhyun still had the patience and capacity to be speak politely to his parents. Though if they kept up their insults, Baekhyun knew that he wouldn’t be able to last that much longer.

“What does he do for living?” Mr. Byun asked scornfully.

“He plays the drums,” Baekhyun answered proudly, sitting up straighter, glancing at Chanyeol in hopes that he would do the same. But the drummer’s back remained hunched with his head bowed.

“A street artist,” his father repeated.

“If he’s a street artist, then makes me one too, because we’re in a band together and I’m the vocalist.” The words left Baekhyun’s mouth easily. Up until two years ago, he had still been too afraid to stand up to his parents about his relationship, especially because he had quit Med school halfway, wasting all of their money and efforts at bringing him up (or so they claimed, as if it hadn’t been the nannies who watched Baekhyun grow up). “We’re musicians. The two of you of all people should know that I love music. You were the ones who forced me to learn the piano. I fell in love with playing it eventually though, of course, or that would have given me one more reason to hate the both of you.” Biting his lower lip, Baekhyun averted his gaze from his parents. “I’m sorry. I went overboard there.”

They all decided that it would be best to ignore Baekhyun’s piercing comments.

“Why do you do this to yourself, son?” Mr. Byun began again.

Scoffing, Baekhyun stared at his father angrily. “You’re not being respectful to Chanyeol.”

“You’re not being respectful yourself,” Mr. Byun said sharply.

“I _am_. And you should respect Chanyeol,” Baekhyun repeated much more forcefully this time.

Wiping his hand on a napkin, Mr. Byun looked at Chanyeol contemptuously. “He doesn’t deserve my respect.”

“Well, he’s my fiancé and you should respect him.”

At Baekhyun’s words, the whole table fell silent and Chanyeol whipped his head to look at him in shock.

“Baek – ”

Turning to Chanyeol, Baekhyun shook his head. “I’m not going to let my family treat you like that.”

“It’s fine,” Chanyeol insisted. He could feel Baekhyun’s parents’ eyes on him and he tried to lower his voice. “You don’t have to fight with them over me. It’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t.” Baekhyun sounded adamant and Chanyeol was thankful for that but he really didn’t want Baekhyun to fall out with his parents any further. “You’re the most important person in this world to me, Chanyeol. Of course, I'm going to fight for you. For us.”

“And I appreciate that, really. Of course I do, but – ”

“Are you being serious now, Baekhyun?” Mrs. Byun asked worriedly. Frown lines were starting to appear on her face. “You’re engaged?”

Patting Chanyeol’s hand for reassurance, Baekhyun nodded once before facing his mother. “I am.”

“Where are the rings?” his father asked, making a show of looking at their fingers and frowning when he saw no wedding bands.

“We haven’t gotten them yet,” Baekhyun explained as calmly as he could, doing his best to keep his cool. It helped that Chanyeol was drawing circles on his thigh.

Laughing sarcastically, Mr. Byun shook his head in dismay. “Can he even afford them?”

“I’m fine with even a ring made out of grass,” Baekhyun hissed.

Laughter dying down, Mr. Byun looked at Baekhyun sternly. “I won’t allow this. I won’t allow you to marry such a failure of a person.”

“It’s not up to you to decide who I marry,” Baekhyun said sharply and then threw the napkin onto the table before standing up. “It wasn’t nice seeing you guys again,” Baekhyun told his parents before tugging Chanyeol’s sleeve.

Standing up to follow Baekhyun, Chanyeol was halfway going into a bow when Baekhyun pulled him and said, _“don’t apologise”_.

Once they were out of the restaurant, Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, annoyed. “Were you going to apologise to them?”

“Baek – ”

“Were you?” Baekhyun repeated stubbornly. “Were you going to bow to them and apologise?”

Sighing, Chanyeol tried to hold Baekhyun’s hand but the other took a step back so that Chanyeol couldn’t reach him. “Come on, Baek.”

“Answer me.”

“Yes!” Chanyeol shouted. “Yes! I was going to apologise to them, okay?”

“Why?” Baekhyun demanded, frustrated at how easily Chanyeol always gave in. “You’re not in the wrong. Why should you apologise?”

“They’re your parents, Baek,” Chanyeol said softly, sounding defeated.

“Even so.” Looking back into the restaurant, Baekhyun scowled. “They should learn to respect me and my partner too.”

“When you’re a nobody like me, you get used to apologising. Especially when it comes to people who are richer and more successful than you.”

Shaking his head, Baekhyun looked down. “You’re not allowed to say that. Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true, baby.”

“You’re not a nobody. You’re a somebody to me.” Raising his head, Baekhyun held Chanyeol’s hands. “You’re _my_ somebody.”

“And I always will be,” Chanyeol assured, bending down to kiss the top of Baekhyun’s heads. “Go talk to your parents, okay?”

“Fine,” Baekhyun gave in very unwillingly. “But we’re not in the wrong. You don’t need to apologise for anything.”

“Okay, okay.”

As Baekhyun turned towards the restaurant, he paused and faced Chanyeol again. “I’ll meet you at the ring shop, okay? The one in the mall near the train station.”

“You’re serious?”

“Of course, I am,” Baekhyun said with a frown. “I know you _can_ afford a ring and I also know that you want one more than me so, go. I’ll meet you there.”

“I love you, Baek.”

“Love you too,” Baekhyun laughed.

Talking to his parents had gone as Baekhyun had expected – uneventfully. It had ended with another verbal sparring session so Baekhyun had concluded that there really wasn’t any point in trying to convince his parents to approve his relationship with Chanyeol.

No one was going to change his mind about getting married to Chanyeol anyway.

“Is there a doctor here?” Someone was shouting on the street and it attracted Baekhyun’s attention. He wasn’t a doctor but he _could have_ been one. “We need a doctor!”

Looking around, Baekhyun saw that no one was volunteering any help. People were merely crowded in a circle around the injured person lying on the floor to look at the commotion.

“Anyone! Please!” The person sounded like he was in distraught and Baekhyun couldn't just walk past and ignore the situation any longer.

Letting out a deep breath, Baekhyun pushed past all the people as he shouted, “I can help!”

Once he reached the inside of the circle, he threw his bag to the ground and knelt next to the bleeding victim. “What happened here?”

“Are you a doctor?”

Movements stilling, Baekhyun hesitated before answering. “No. But I’ve been to Med school before.”

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“You need to tell me what happened first.”

“It was a car accident.”

“Was he a pedestrian? Was he in another car?” There wasn’t a car in sight so Baekhyun guessed that it was a hit-and-run situation but it was still better to clarify. “When did the accident happen?”

“About an hour – ”

Suddenly, there were people screaming and running everywhere. Shouts came from multiple directions – “Watch out!”, “Get out of the way!”, and “Run!”.

“What’s going on?” Baekhyun looked around frantically but he all he could see was chaos. When he turned back to the person who had been asking for help, he realised that the person was already gone. Only the injured person was left there, lying next to him in a pool of blood. “You’ll be fine,” Baekhyun muttered as he took off his jacket and began tying it around the stranger’s arm in hope of stopping the bleeding. Just as he was about to finish off the knot, amidst the chaos, someone shouted out to him – “Get off the road!”.

“Huh?”

Raising his head, the next thing Baekhyun noticed was blinding lights and the sound of a car screeching.

Then, there was nothing at all.

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol yelled as he ran through the hospital. “Baekhyun!” He continued shouting, ignoring the nurses telling him to keep quiet.

“Mr – ”

Turning to the nurse, Chanyeol was about to grab her by the shoulders when a moment of clarity prevented him from doing so. “Where is he?” he asked anxiously. “Where is he?”

“May I know who you are looking for, Mr?” The nurse seemed to be able to sense his urgency as she was already taking out her pager.

“Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun. Twenty-six years old. He has light brown hair. About a head and a half shorter than me, that is a hundred and seventy-two centimeters or so. A friend. A person. Is there a Kim Jongdae who’s already here with him? He’s the one who contacted me because the hospital couldn’t get in touch with me for some reason so you guys contacted him instead. He’s here, isn’t he?”

“Please calm down, Mr.?”

“Park.”

“Please calm down, Mr. Park. My colleagues are currently trying to locate his room.”

“Thank you,” Chanyeol said sincerely. But that wasn’t enough to calm his nerves or make him settle down.

A few minutes later, the nurse gave Chanyeol a room number and then he was dashing off in the direction of the East Wing.

“Jongdae!” Chanyeol called as soon as he spotted the guitarist.

“Chanyeol!” Jongdae stood up and closed the remaining distance between them, allowing Chanyeol to catch his breath. “What took you so long?”

“I came here as fast as I could.” Panting harshly, Chanyeol bent forward slightly, resting his hands on his thighs. “How is he?”

“He’s stable for now,” Jongdae explained, then hesitated a little. “The operation was successful.”

“Operation? What operation?”

“A car rammed into him, Chanyeol.” Frowning worriedly, Jongdae placed a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Weren’t you listening to what I said at all?” 

“Oh gosh, what was I doing?” Sliding down against the wall, Chanyeol buried his face in his hands. “What the hell was I doing?”

“You were probably too worried about Baekhyun so you didn’t hear me,” Jongdae tried comforting his friend. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re right. Why wasn’t I listening to what you had to say?” Chanyeol scolded himself. “What the hell was I thinking?”

Eyes softening, Jongdae squatted next to the drummer and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Chanyeol, don’t be like that. Who would have expected Baekhyun to get into an accident?”

Only when Chanyeol felt that he was fully calm did he lift his head up. Upon seeing the comfort in Jongdae’s eyes, he felt a little better and offered the other a small smile. “Can I see him?” His voice was weak and his words sounded like almost a whisper.

“Not now. But in a while, I’m sure.” Turning to look at the closed door, Jongdae sighed regretfully. “I can’t stay for long though.”

“No, no, no. It’s alright.” Chanyeol jerked his head towards Baekhyun’s room. “I’ll be here with him. You can go now if you need to.”

Nodding, Jongdae slapped his hands against thighs twice before he stood up. “Stay strong, Chanyeol.”

“It’s the only thing I can do now.”

“Remember to eat,” Jongdae reminded before walking away.

Chanyeol didn’t know how many hours had passed but as soon as the doctor told him that it was okay to enter the room and that Baekhyun was awake, he immediately forgot all his weariness and rushed into the room.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol called out the patient’s name, sounding distressed. “Are you okay? Are you in pain anywhere? Does your head hurt? What did the doctor say? Jongdae said I shouldn’t come in and I guess it’s because you need rest but I really wanted to, needed to see you.” The more Chanyeol spoke, the more puzzled Baekhyun looked, and it made a pool of guilt form at the bottom of Chanyeol’s stomach. Reaching out for Baekhyun’s hand, Chanyeol immediately pulled back when he saw the other flinch away.

“Wait, stop.” Lifting a hand, Baekhyun glared at Chanyeol. “One question at a time. My head is hurting.”

“Crap, I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol cried, trying to hold Baekhyun’s hand again and succeeding this time. The look of confusion Baekhyun shot at their now connected hands made Chanyeol’s heart ache. “Are you feeling – ”

“Okay, stop right there,” Baekhyun cut him off again, raising a finger to Chanyeol’s lips. “Me first.” Only when he was certain that Chanyeol wouldn't be opening his mouth again did he put his finger down.

Swallowing, Chanyeol nodded, patiently waiting for Baekhyun’s question. It wasn’t something he wanted to hear at all.

Disentangling their hands and clearing his throat, Baekhyun leaned back against the pillow as he levelled Chanyeol with a cool stare. “Who are you?”


	2. Whatever may come, your heart, I will choose

“He doesn’t remember me.” Pacing back and forth in the small living room, Chanyeol repeatedly muttered the same words to himself. “He doesn’t remember me. It’s been a week and he still doesn’t remember me.”

“He doesn’t remember me either,” Jongdae offered, trying to make Chanyeol feel better about the situation.

“But I’m his fiancé. He should remember me,” Chanyeol countered, sounding bitter, but Jongdae didn’t fault him for that. It was a reasonable thing to be upset about.

Throwing his hands up in the air, Chanyeol increased his walking pace. “I don’t know what I should do, Jongdae. I visit him every day and I talk to him but he mostly just…” At the thought of Baekhyun’s been acting around him these past few days, Chanyeol sighed dejectedly. “Ignores me.”

Patting the empty space on the floor, Jongdae beckoned his friend over to sit beside him, and because Chanyeol couldn’t walk the length of his living room forever, he went over. Resting his head against Jongdae’s shoulder, Chanyeol stretched his legs out below the low table in the middle of the room.

“You haven’t gone to the hospital today, right? Maybe he’s feeling better today and can recognise you.”

Groaning, Chanyeol squeezed his eyes shut. “I doubt it. He didn’t even show any signs of remembering yesterday. It’s like he’s stuck in the past. He kept on asking me about Med school and got angry when I told him he had dropped out after we had started going out.”

Humming thoughtfully, Jongdae started, slowly, not wanting to offend Chanyeol. “Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to tell him that he quit studying for one of the most esteemed professions in the world.”

Chanyeol only groaned louder.

“Excuse me,” Chanyeol called out to a nurse passing by. “I’m checking about a patient – Mr. Byun Baekhyun. He was checked into the hospital about a week ago because of a car accident? I just went to his room in the East Wing at 107 but it was empty and his chart was gone too.”

Flashing Chanyeol a polite smile, the nurse told him, “then he probably checked out.”

Before she could walk away, Chanyeol blocked her path and laughed a little, bowing his head in apology. “Could you please help me check the system?”

At that moment, she probably felt like rolling her eyes but she maintained a professional demeanour, merely nodding and asking Chanyeol to follow her to the counter where she could check the computer.

“Byun Baekhyun…Byun Baekhyun…” She checked the name list meticulously. “Mr. Byun checked out this morning.”

“What?” came Chanyeol’s instant reaction. As rude as it sounded, he couldn’t help it. “Who checked him out? He lives with me and he doesn't have any friends besides us.” He turned to Jongdae for confirmation who only nodded in agreement.

Smiling coldly at Chanyeol, the nurse said, “his parents came to pick him up.” Nodding once more, she picked up her clipboard and walked away, probably off to tell the other nurses what had just happened and make Chanyeol seem like a big bad guy.

“His parents?” Chanyeol stared at Jongdae in dismay. “His parents checked him out? Did I hear her correctly? His _parents_?”

Groaning, Jongdae tilted his head to the side a little before standing straight to face Chanyeol. “Of course his parents would check him out. He doesn’t remember you,” Jongdae said as a way of explanation but Chanyeol remained clueless. “He doesn’t remember anything,” Jongdae added on. “This is their chance to win him back to their side and mold him back into the perfect son that he was supposed to be. Doctor with a bright future and having a good partner by his side and all that.”

“Oh, fuck.”

Without Jongdae and Minseok’s encouragement, Chanyeol wouldn't have been standing in front of the Byun’s mansion. It was actually his first visit to the place despite knowing where Baekhyun’s family home was the whole time they were dating. There was just never a need to go to his house, especially since Baekhyun’s parents hated his very existence.

Taking a deep breath, Chanyeol rang the doorbell. From where he was standing, he could hear the sound echoing back.

 _“Who’s this?”_ a voice came from the intercom, startling Chanyeol.

Clearing his throat, he leaned in closer to the panel. “I’m looking for Byun Baekhyun.”

There wasn’t any answer and Chanyeol thought that he was just going to be left outside but a few moments later, the front gate opened and Chanyeol saw Baekhyun walking towards him. He still looked as lovely as ever, even if the clothes he was wearing didn’t look like the usual him that Chanyeol knew. Though Chanyeol guessed that this was how the Baekhyun before him was like too.

“You came all the way to my house to…?” Baekhyun waited for Chanyeol to fill in the blanks but the latter didn’t say anything. “How do you even know my address? It’s private information. The hospital shouldn’t have given it to you.”

“You gave it to me.”

“The – I what? Huh?” Baekhyun frowned at Chanyeol, confused. “You’re saying that I was the one who gave this address to you?”

“When we were dating…” Chanyeol mumbled.

Shaking his head, Baekhyun clicked his tongue. “Not that again.”

“Then am I supposed to know where you live if it weren’t for you telling me?”

Sucking in his lower lip, Baekhyun pondered for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t know.”

“See. It’s because – ”

Raising a hand to stop Chanyeol, Baekhyun sighed. “Look, just…” their eyes met then and Baekhyun felt a lump growing in his throat, blocking the words from coming out. It was as if something was telling him not to say it, not to break this guy’s heart. But he ignored the feeling and tried forcing the words out anyway. “Just leave me alone,” he ended saying. It wasn’t what he had in mind and it sounded way harsher than what he had been planning to say but it affected Chanyeol all the same. Getting the first few words out was the difficult part. “I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Not wanting to believe his ears, Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun for a few more moments before the words finally sunk in. Hanging his head low in defeat, Chanyeol nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry for bothering you.” As he turned around, Baekhyun stopped him and he knew he shouldn’t, but he raised his hopes high.

“I mean it.” Baekhyun wasn’t facing Chanyeol as he spoke and the latter could only hope that it was because he didn’t actually mean any of the things he was saying then. “I’m going back to Med school and I’ll be really busy so…” Timidly turning to look at Chanyeol, Baekhyun spoke in a softer volume. “Don’t bother me again.”

“I won’t,” Chanyeol promised. 

Six months later was when Chanyeol finally met Baekhyun again. 

It was at the coffee shop they had first met.

He had kept true to his word and had never turned up at Baekhyun’s doorstep the second time. Nor had he made any phone calls or had sent any text messages even though he still kept Baekhyun’s number in his phone. Maybe he had broken his promise once and had dialed Baekhyun’s number – but it had only been to hear the other’s message tone because he had missed Baekhyun’s voice too much.

As soon as he saw Baekhyun’s back, he wanted to turn around and leave. But then he decided to steel himself and walk to the counter to order a drink. He wasn’t breaking his promise. This was a mere coincidence. Baekhyun might not even have noticed his presence, and he sure wasn’t going to alert the other about it.

“Iced Americano, to go.”

As he waited at the side for his drink, he heard that familiar voice that he missed so much.

“Oh.”

Looking up from his phone, Chanyeol saw Baekhyun staring at him with wide eyes.

“It’s you.”

“I’m not following you, don’t worry,” Chanyeol instantly explained, not wanting Baekhyun to misunderstand and get the wrong idea. Forcing a smile onto his face, Chanyeol continued playing with his phone. Though his heart ached a little at the fact that Baekhyun could still remember his face from the hospital and his doorstep.

“I’m not accusing you or anything,” Baekhyun hurriedly clarified, making Chanyeol face him again. “I was just…surprised.”

“Iced Americano,” the barista announced and slid the drink over the counter for Chanyeol to grab it.

“Studying?” Chanyeol tried being casual even though he knew that the answer was going to be positive.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun nodded and pointed to his things at one of the tables. “I was just throwing away this, um…” he lifted the paper cup in his hand for Chanyeol to see. “This thing,” he laughed but it died down quickly.

Oh, how much Chanyeol had missed that laughter. “Study hard, Baek.” The nickname slipped out by accident but Chanyeol didn’t even notice it. Not that Baekhyun said anything either. Though he didn’t even say a ‘thank you’.

“Actually I have something to ask you,” Baekhyun rushed out before Chanyeol turned around. “Can you help me with regaining my memory?”

They ended up sitting on a park bench near the coffee shop. It was another familiar place to Chanyeol – he used to play his guitar there all the time and sung to Baekhyun. Though of course, it was just a plain bench to Baekhyun.

“After I…very unceremoniously chased you away – I’m sorry for that, by the way. I’ve been wanting to apologise but then I realised that I didn’t have your number and I didn’t know where you stayed so I couldn’t contact you at all.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Chanyeol simply said, trying to play it cool even though his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. _“It’s the number that’s number one on your speed dial. The place I’m staying at is the place you used to call home,”_ were the words Chanyeol tried not to say. “What is it that you needed help with?”

“My memory.”

“Your memory.” Pressing his lips together, Chanyeol nodded. “Right. How can I help you with that?”

“So you see,” Baekhyun began immediately and Chanyeol couldn’t help but crack a smile. “What? What’s so funny?” Baekhyun asked, subconsciously touching his face.

Shaking his head, Chanyeol tried to hold his laughter back. “It’s just so…” Looking at Baekhyun’s face fondly, Chanyeol’s smile widened. “It’s just so you.”

Not expecting such a reply, Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol, unblinking, unsure about what to say. “Right. So you say things like that. That means you know me very well.”

It didn’t sound like a question so Chanyeol remained quiet. Not that Baekhyun prodded him for a reply.

“Okay,” Baekhyun started again. “So I checked phone and all that, you know? And I realised that you’re in a lot of pictures. Almost every single picture, in fact. And there are some pictures which are a little…” Tilting his head to the side, Baekhyun tried thinking of an appropriate word to use. “There are some photos which are a bit…you know…”

“Racy?” Chanyeol suggested and Baekhyun nodded rapidly. “We _were_ dating.”

Looking down, Baekhyun leaned his head to one side. “Yes. So um…could you…could we…pretend that we’re dating again?” Raising only his eyes, he looked at Chanyeol hopefully. “I know it’s a lot to ask for, so a day would be fine. Just a day is fine.”

Looking at Baekhyun in shock, Chanyeol took a while to regain his composure. “Technically, we never broke up.”

“Right,” Baekhyun agreed readily. “But I really don’t remember. So maybe we could do some things together again?”

It wasn’t Chanyeol’s most ideal way of spending time with Baekhyun again but it was his only way and he wasn’t going to turn it down.

Bringing Baekhyun to places they had used to go to together before wasn’t the most difficult part of it. The hardest part was seeing the lack of recognition on Baekhyun’s face when Chanyeol brought him to a place where they had made so many memories.

The best part of it was watching the way Baekhyun’s face light up at things that Chanyeol knew that he enjoyed or was interested in, like jellyfishes at the aquarium.

“Aren’t they just so pretty?” Baekhyun asked as he pressed his face against the glass to watch the glowing sea creatures. Sensing that Chanyeol wasn’t even looking at the fishes, Baekhyun turned around and spotted Chanyeol staring at him instead. “Oh.”

Embarrassed, Chanyeol faked a cough and looked away.

“I must look so stupid. I’m sorry,” Baekhyun laughed.

“Not at all!” Chanyeol hurriedly reassured him. “You look adorable.”

It was Baekhyun’s turn to feel embarrassed. “Where do we usually go next?”

“Home,” Chanyeol replied in a heartbeat.

Nodding wordlessly, Baekhyun began walking to the exit.

The ride back to Chanyeol’s apartment hadn’t been as silent as he had thought it would be. Baekhyun had sang along to songs playing on the radio the whole journey back and Chanyeol had to force himself to school his expression into a neutral one in case he made Baekhyun feel self-conscious. He also had to stop himself from joining in because he had been afraid of making the situation awkward. All in all, it hadn’t been a bad ride.

But even all not-bad things had to come to an end.

Chanyeol didn’t know what overtook his senses – whether it was too much emotions or plain stupidity, he kissed Baekhyun on the lips.

 _“Please kiss back. Just please kiss back,”_ Chanyeol begged in his mind, his heart clenching painfully when Baekhyun didn’t move. Squeezing his eyes shut tighter, Chanyeol kissed harder as if that would make Baekhyun suddenly remember everything. When he broke away, Baekhyun was just staring at him with a shocked look on his face. Chanyeol hadn’t even realised that tears had been forming in his eyes until his vision started to blur and he couldn’t see Baekhyun’s expression that clearly anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun whispered shakily, looking at the tears streaming down Chanyeol’s face guiltily. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, tongue flicking out to wet his lips, no doubt tasting Chanyeol’s saline tears. “I just don’t remember. I can’t.”

Hurriedly gathering his things, Baekhyun stood up, nodded to Chanyeol once before going to the door. Before leaving, he spared Chanyeol one last glance before shutting the door.

Once Baekhyun had left, Chanyeol hugged his knees, head hung low as he sobbed brokenly.

Chanyeol should have known that Baekhyun’s father wanting to meet him wouldn't come to anything good.

“How much money do you want?”

Scoffing, Chanyeol shook his head. “I don’t want any money.”

Sighing, Mr. Byun took out a cheque book and put his signature on it before tearing out a single slip and passing it to Chanyeol. “You can write any amount that you want.”

Raising a brow, Chanyeol took the pen from Mr. Byun’s hand and wrote something down before sliding the paper back to the older man. He had drawn a poor variation of Deadpool’s face on it.

“You can keep your money. _And_ my ugly drawing.” Pushing the seat back, Chanyeol stood up and left the fancy restaurant that he never wanted to step foot in ever again. He had even made sure not to drink a sip of water despite how thirsty he had been.

Lying down on Minseok’s bed, Chanyeol stared at the ceiling. “They think I’m only after Baekhyun for his money, Minseok. What should I do?”

Looking at Chanyeol thoughtfully, Minseok pushed the other’s legs aside so there was space for him to sit. “Baekhyun doesn’t hate you, does he?”

“I don’t think so,” Chanyeol muttered sadly. “But he doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember anything.”

“Then make him love you again. You’ve done it once. I’m sure you can do it again.”

_”Hey, Med student!” Chanyeol called out._

_There were many Med students in the world but Baekhyun was so self-conscious that he turned around. Though upon spotting Chanyeol’s face, Baekhyun knew for sure that the other was calling him._

_“I have a name,” Baekhyun said bluntly in response._

_“One that you wouldn’t give me,” Chanyeol pointed out, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Care to give me your name now?”_

_“Not really.”_

_Just as Baekhyun turned around, he heard someone saying, “oh, he’s playing hard to get” and for some reason, it riled him up. Facing Chanyeol again, Baekhyun glared at him before offering his name. “It’s Baekhyun.”_

_“Do you remember my name, Baekhyun?”_

_As much as Baekhyun wanted to say ‘no’, he did remember the other’s name. “Chanyeol,” he said begrudgingly, making the other’s face light up even though his eyes widened in surprise._

_“I wasn’t expecting you to remember me,” Chanyeol admitted, laughing a little shyly._

_It seemed that he didn’t really know what to do then since Baekhyun actually remembered his name. Perhaps he had thought about teasing Baekhyun or flirting a bit for a while but the way Baekhyun had said his name made his heart skip madly._

_“I’m not interested in musicians.”_

_“Maybe my performance will change your mind.”_

_“I doubt it,” Baekhyun refuted, despite his heart already doing somersaults at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice. And why did this guy have such pretty eyes?_

_It would take all of two weeks for Chanyeol to find out that Baekhyun, in fact, loved music. And it would take all of one month for Baekhyun to fall head over heels in love with Chanyeol and decide to drop out of Med school to form a band with him. And then it would take five years for Baekhyun to forget everything about Chanyeol and go back to the start – a chance to restart his life. Or was it a chance to pick Chanyeol all over again?_

“There’s no one at the venue, Chanyeol. Are you sure you got the right place?” Jongdae asked worriedly. The place was decorated nicely – balloons tied up on the white pillars and the tables all set. There was even a baby grand on the mini stage that had surely been built beforehand. All this effort and there was not even a single person, except the three of them, at the venue.

“It should be right…” Minseok said softly as he scanned the place. “We double-checked several times because we knew how important this gig was.”

As Chanyeol was about to say something, his phone rang. “Hang on, guys.” Picking up the phone, Chanyeol could hear a lot of noise from the other side. “Who’s this?”

_“Is this Park Chanyeol?”_

“Yes, I am.”

_“I’m calling from the client who had hired your band today. It seems that there was a change of plans and they shifted the venue.”_

“They what?” Chanyeol exclaimed, looking around frantically as he began to fret. “Do you want us to go there now?” He was already beginning to keep his drum sticks and motioning for his other two bandmates to pack up as well.

 _“There’s no need for that,”_ the man over the line chuckled. _“They’ve already hired another band.”_

“They…what?” Chanyeol’s shoulders visibly fell and he stopped all his movements at once.

Suddenly, he could hear another person talking at the other side, but the newcomer was too soft for any coherent words to be picked up by the microphone. Though Chanyeol could hear what the person who had called said next very clearly.

_“I’ve already informed him of the situation, Mr. Byun.”_

Then he was back to addressing Chanyeol.

_“We’re terrible sorry about it and have a nice day, Mr. Pa – ”_

Out of anger, Chanyeol cut the line even before the man was done wishing him well. It wouldn’t have been sincere anyway.

“What happened?” Jongdae asked worriedly.

Laughing bitterly, Chanyeol shook his head in disbelief. “This was all a prank. A huge big prank Mr. Byun decided to play on me because he hates me so much.”

“Oh, Chanyeol,” Minseok sighed.

“I’m sorry guys.” Chanyeol covered his face with his hands. “It was too good to be true. I didn’t even think twice before accepting the offer.”

“It’s not your fault,” Minseok said kindly.

Removing his hands, Chanyeol smiled at Minseok in appreciation. “Could you guys head back first? I’ll catch up shortly.”

“Chanyeol – ”

“ _Please?_ ”

Tapping Jongdae’s shoulder, Minseok shook his head. And then they both left.

After a while, when Chanyeol was certain that his friends were gone, he screamed. He simply screamed, the sound echoing a little in the deserted venue.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted the baby grand piano. It had been a while since he had touched a piano.

Chanyeol was so engrossed in playing the piano that he didn’t hear footsteps hurrying to where he was.

“Chan – ” Baekhyun stopped where he was when he saw Chanyeol playing a tune on the piano as he sung to it. The melody sounded familiar and strangely enough, the lyrics were familiar to him too. Yet he couldn’t put an artist to the song.

_When I look at the stars shining brightly  
It almost feels like I’m looking at you  
You’re like everything that shines bright  
When the night sky grows dark  
The whole world is sparkled with light_

_Sometimes I think  
When I see you seeming like me,  
That every single small thing  
Was me being like you  
Promise me now,  
When all the lights are gone,  
That just like tonight  
You’ll forever be shining with me  
Love you_

When Chanyeol finished the song, Baekhyun couldn’t help but clap.

Surprised that there was another person around, Chanyeol jumped in the seat, eyes growing wider the moment he saw who his audience was. “Baekhyun?” Scrambling off the piano bench, Chanyeol hurried down the steps of the mini stage. “What are you doing here?”

“I um – ” Baekhyun paused, looking unsure of himself and he berated himself in his mind for forgetting his purpose in turning up at the abandoned venue in the first place. “I came to apologise,” he said as soon as he collected himself. “My parents. They did this to you on purpose. I didn’t know about it. I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?”

“Because my parents are asses?”

Chanyeol was about to tell Baekhyun not to apologise because it wasn’t his fault. He was about to repeat the lesson Baekhyun had given to him some time ago. But hearing Baekhyun calling his parents _asses_ made Chanyeol swallow back all of his words and simply chuckle.

“That song was really nice, by the way,” Baekhyun commented, looking around and acting like he wasn't praising Chanyeol.

Grinning, Chanyeol pretended not to notice that Baekhyun was being shy. “Thank you.”

“Who sang it?” Baekhyun asked. Again, he was trying to play it off cool.

But Chanyeol couldn’t just laugh it off again that time. Reluctantly, he answered in a very soft voice, “me”.

At first, Baekhyun was confused, then he realised what Chanyeol meant. He also realised what Chanyeol singing it might really mean. “Oh.”

“I composed it and wrote the lyrics by myself too.”

“Oh.”

Since Chanyeol had already started, he figured that he should just continue till the end. “With you in mind.”

“Oh.” An awkward silence settled between them. “I’m sorry. I just really don’t remember.”

Again with those words.

Honestly, Chanyeol was growing tired of hearing them. 

“It’s fine.” Carelessly waving his hand, Chanyeol chuckled. “I think I should stop acting too.”

Eyes shifting, Baekhyun fixed his gaze on a spot behind Chanyeol’s left ear. “What? What do you mean?”

Sighing, Chanyeol prepared for the lie of his life. “We were engaged when you got into a car accident, yes. But we were actually in talks of calling our engagement off.” They were lies. All of them, and Chanyeol _knew_. But why did his heart still hurt so much as if they were the truth?

Finally meeting Chanyeol’s eyes, Baekhyun looked like he was pleading Chanyeol to be truthful. “What are you saying? Why would we call our engagement off? Weren’t we…in love? Weren’t we very much in love?”

“We were.” This, Chanyeol could agree to easily before he begun spinning a story of his own. “But our views were just too different. It was you who mostly wanted to call it off while I clung on desperately like a fool. Then you got into a car accident and lost your memory – all of it, including all the bad about our relationship and I thought that it was a good opportunity to try and win you back. Turns out it backfired, huh? And then you went home instead.”

“I don’t believe you,” Baekhyun said immediately. 

Chanyeol’s heart clenched painfully. Baekhyun shouldn't have so much faith in him. But he did. And it broke Chanyeol’s heart knowing that Baekhyun didn’t remember a single thing about him but still trusted in him so much. “You should. Your parents were right about me too. They probably told you that I was after your money, didn’t they? I knew that you were rich from the start. Med school? Your car? Your clothes? You stunk of money.” The words were definitely hurting Baekhyun. Except the other probably didn’t know that they were hurting Chanyeol too.

“I don’t believe you.”

Pointing to the exit, Chanyeol said, “I have your things in the back of my truck now. I was about to resell or dump them but since you’re here, I’ll just give them to you. An act of kindness for me to collect good karma.”

“What kind of things could you have resold?” Baekhyun asked in an unbelieving tone.

“Your expensive clothes,” came Chanyeol’s quick reply. Though in all honesty, Chanyeol couldn’t tell the difference between a branded and non-branded good. “There was a watch too. From your grandmother, I think. And lots of other stuff. I don’t really remember.” Lies. “I don’t really care.” More lies. “Let’s go get your trash.”

Wordlessly, Baekhyun followed Chanyeol out of the venue and indeed, Chanyeol’s huge jeep that looked like it was going to break down any second was parked right in the first lot at the carpark. Opening the back seat, Chanyeol began to unload some boxes.

“These are all your stuff,” Chanyeol said once he was done with the last box. There were about eleven of them in total in differing sizes. “They’re all yours again.”

“What do I do with them?” Baekhyun looked at all the boxes in distraught.

“Bring them back?”

“ _How_ am I supposed to bring all of them back?” 

“Call a cab,” Chanyeol suggested with a nonchalant shrug as he shut the back door and went to the other side to the driver’s seat. “You have money, don’t you?”

“My phone’s dead and no cabs come around here.”

“Your problem.” Opening the driver’s door, Chanyeol climbed into the seat before rolling the window down. “I would love to offer you a ride but there’s just no space.” He jerked a thumb back to his incredibly wide and empty backseat area since Baekhyun’s boxes weren’t there anymore. “Sorry.” Stepping on the gas pedal, Chanyeol drove off, leaving Baekhyun behind, all alone with eleven boxes to handle.

In his rearview mirror, he could still see Baekhyun’s expression. It just looked sad.

“Fuck,” Chanyeol shouted, hitting his steering wheel once as he tried to push back his tears. Pulling out his phone, he hurriedly opened the application to book a cab, requesting for a big one before typing in the address of the place he was leaving and putting a note for the driver to pick up a man with eleven boxes and to get there _quick_ , and to tell that man that he was just passing by and spotted a large number of boxes from a short distance away. At the end, Chanyeol promised a heavy tip for everything.

He tracked where the driver was until he got a message twenty minutes later saying that the passenger got picked up. Only then did he feel relieve to keep his phone. But then his phone kept on ringing with notifications from the driver asking how much of a tip he was going to get and Chanyeol generously replied, _$100_. It wasn’t a small sum of money. Not at all. But it was for Baekhyun’s well-being.

“ – and he was being such a jerk. I don’t know why!”

Nodding at intervals to show that he was listening, Kyungsoo waited for a while before he finally asked, “is that all?”

Folding his arms across his chest, Baekhyun thought for a moment before nodding. “For now, yes. When I think of something else, I’ll let you know.”

“Can’t wait,” Kyungsoo commented drily and continued flipping through Baekhyun’s things since his friend had nothing more to say and he didn’t have to give the other his full attention. “There’s a CD here.” Taking it out of the box, Kyungsoo scrutinised its cover. “It says ‘My Starlight’.” Shrugging, Kyungsoo stretched his hand out to Baekhyun.

Looking between the CD case and Kyungsoo, Baekhyun looked perplexed. “So?”

“Watch it,” Kyungsoo said simply.

Seeing that there was no harm, Baekhyun nodded to himself and inserted the CD into his laptop. He was expecting many things – from a documentary about stars to a porn video with an abstract title. What he wasn’t expecting was to see his own face on the screen. Or hear his own voice. Moving his cursor, he fast-forwarded the video a little.

_“ – save me. Chanyeol, how do you flip an egg?”_

There was the sound of laughter, probably coming from the person who had been filming it – Chanyeol.

 _“Are you videoing this?”_ He sounded incredulous there.

He skipped a little more.

 _“Happy birthday, dear Baekhyun,”_ Chanyeol sang in his low voice in the video.

 _“Put the camera away! I just woke up!”_ the Baekhyun on the screen protested.

The Baekhyun watching it could only laugh.

Then he skipped a few more files until he spotted one particular date – March 2, 2018. It had been the day before his accident.

Chanyeol’s face appeared on the screen.

 _“Today is the day!”_ he exclaimed. _“It isn’t a special day…yet. It will be a special day ten years down the road. Because today is the day that I will propose to…”_ He stopped talking there and flipped the camera so that he could film a door. _“He’s still sleeping but I’m going to propose to the love of my life. Who’s the love of my life? You tell me!”_ Chuckling, he turned back to look at the closed door. _“It’s you, Byun Baekhyun.”_

Immediately, Baekhyun pressed the ‘x’ button. Tears were running down his face. “How dare he?” Baekhyun shouted. “How dare he lie to me?”

“Baekhyun…”

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun choked. “He…he lied to me.” He sniffed, unable to stop the tears from pouring.

Rummaging through all the things, Baekhyun finally found a stack of envelopes and keyed in the address into his phone before he got off his bed, heading straight for his car.

“What are you going to tell him?” Kyungsoo asked.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun admitted truthfully and then left the room.

By the time Baekhyun had reached Chanyeol’s apartment and parked his car at the side of the road, his tears had dried up and he was only filled with rage.

Continuously pressing the doorbell, Baekhyun only stopped when the door swung open. Before Chanyeol could even get a single word out, Baekhyun threw the CD at Chanyeol’s chest, surprising the latter. But he managed to catch it before it fell to the floor and his eyes widened when he realised what it was.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Baekhyun shouted, pointing accusatively at the CD Chanyeol was now clenching on to like it was the most precious thing in the whole world to him.

“I can explain.”

“I’m listening.”

“It was filmed when we were super in love, before the fight obviously,” Chanyeol lied.

“ _What_ fight?” Baekhyun hissed. “We weren’t even engaged until the day before my accident.”

Because Chanyeol wasn’t a very good liar to begin with, all he could say was, “oh.”

“Why did you lie to me?”

“Baekhyun, you don’t even remember me.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to lie to me!” Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“I love you, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said softly. “I really love you. I still do. But do you know how painful it is every time you look at me and I don’t see love in those eyes anymore? I know that still doesn’t give me the rights to lie to you and I’m sorry about that. But you have a proper life now. One that will make you so much happier in the future than you would have been if you had gotten married to me. You’re on your way to becoming a doctor. Your parents are so proud of you. And I’m sure that you’ll find some lovely girl or boy one day that is worthy of you.”

“But none of them is going to love me as much as you do!” Baekhyun sobbed.

“How do you know that?” Chanyeol asked gently but Baekhyun could only sniff in response. “I lied to you because nothing’s going to change.”

“How do _you_ know that?” Baekhyun countered.

“Because you’ve already seen the video and nothing is changing, is it? You still don’t remember and I still love you and we still can’t be together.”

Not wanting to admit that Chanyeol was right, Baekhyun stubbornly looked away.

“Do you remember me?” Chanyeol began.

“No,” Baekhyun answered truthfully.

“Do you remember us? Or everything that we went through together? The five years of everything?”

“No.”

“Do you love me?”

Inhaling sharply, Baekhyun’s shoulders than sagged. “No,” he said quietly.

“There.” Chanyeol made his point. In a moment of courage, Chanyeol took a deep breath before he stepped forward and kissed Baekhyun’s forehead. “But know that I will forever be yours.” 

A week later and Baekhyun wished he hadn’t given the CD back to Chanyeol.

“Get over it,” Kyungsoo said from where he was adjusting his tie, frowning when he realised how crooked it was and decided to just redo the whole thing. “Go to your dad’s company dinner tonight and forget him. I heard Sehun’s going to be there. You guys haven’t met in years, right?”

“Because I decided to date Chanyeol.” Baekhyun sounded miserable from where he was lying on his bed. “Why did I even decide to date him?”

“Because Med school was stressing you out and so were your parents. Then that cute musician who drinks Americano all the time brought light into your life.”

Sitting up, Baekhyun looked at Kyungsoo from the mirror’s reflection. “Did I really say that?”

“Yeah.”

“And then I gave up my whole life here, left my family, left all of my friends, and stayed with him?”

“Pretty much.”

“But we’re still friends.”

“That’s because I’m not a snob.”

Leaning his weight to one side, Baekhyun watched as Kyungsoo finally finished adjusting his tie. “So did we stay in contact during these five years?”

The question made Kyungsoo’s movements still. Then he sighed and went over to the bed where Baekhyun was sitting and already all dressed up for the party. “You really don’t remember anything, do you?”

Eyes downcast, Baekhyun nodded.

Pulling Baekhyun into a hug, Kyungsoo rubbed his friend’s back. “We kept in contact, yes. I was your only friend from this world, as you call it, left.”

“I don’t remember anything about the past five years, Kyungsoo. My life stopped the moment before I decided to drop out of Med school.”

Unwinding his arms, Kyungsoo looked Baekhyun in the eye. “It didn’t Baekhyun. Your life didn’t stop there. These past five years were the happiest and most carefree I’ve ever seen you.”

“But I don’t remember any of them,” Baekhyun whispered brokenly.

“Then create new memories. Work hard to be happy for your next five years. Your time doesn’t have to stop anywhere, Baekhyun.”

At the back of his mind, Baekhyun wondered if time had stopped for Chanyeol the moment he had forgotten the other. He truly wanted to tell Chanyeol to keep on living for himself, but deep down, there was a selfish part of him that wanted to be loved by someone so sincere forever.

“Baekhyun! I didn’t know you were going to be here!” Sehun exclaimed.

“Surprise?” Baekhyun laughed, returning Sehun the hug that the younger pulled him in. “Wow, you’ve grown taller.” When he couldn’t push Sehun off, Baekhyun faked a chuckle. “And stronger.”

“Am I suffocating you?” Sehun joked and let go before leading Baekhyun to their table where their name plates are.

While Baekhyun had wanted to talk to Sehun about normal stuff like, “how have you been” and what not, the younger had other things in mind.

“I heard you broke up with that street artist.”

“He’s a musician,” Baekhyun corrected immediately, freezing when he realised what he had just said, not knowing why he was defending Chanyeol so readily.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“So you guys broke up? I heard he was aiming for your money.”

“He wasn’t.”

“Oh…I’m sorry again. Should we talk about something else then? I can tell you about my recent trip to France.”

“Sehun,” Baekhyun said abruptly. “I’m sorry but I think I’m not feeling very well. I’m going to the toilet.” Without even waiting for a reply, Baekhyun stood up and took his leave.

There was a part of Baekhyun that felt bad for leaving Sehun just like that because Sehun was genuinely a good guy and he had only been asking those questions probably because he had been influenced by Baekhyun’s parents. But there was a larger part of Baekhyun that wanted to leave the place as soon as possible. These were the parties that he had grew up attending but yet he felt out of place. Where he wanted to be was somewhere where everyone could dance freely and be happy. It was a peculiar thought. 

Minutes later, Baekhyun found himself in his car, destination set to Chanyeol’s house.


	3. Forever I'm yours, forever I do

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol’s eyes widened when he found his ex-fiancé or fiancé or whatever Baekhyun was to him, standing on his welcome doormat. “What are you doing here?” Taking in Baekhyun’s appearance – suit and tie – Chanyeol could only conclude that Baekhyun had come from some formal event. Though he couldn’t come up with any explanation why Baekhyun would be in front of him and not eating shrimp cocktails with Oh Sehun.

“I um…” Baekhyun licked his lips, looking around nervously. “I don’t really know why I’m here. I just wanted to see you honestly.” Staring at Chanyeol hopefully, Baekhyun played with his fingers. “If I’m disturbing you or anything, I can – ”

“No, no, no,” Chanyeol hurriedly rushed out, combing through his hair.

Jerking a thumb back, Baekhyun shook his head. “I can go. Really.”

“You’re not intruding.”

“I should go.” Nodding to himself, Baekhyun pressed his lips together, avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes and the latter couldn’t tell what was running through his mind. “I don’t even know why I turned up.”

“Baekhyun.” The way Chanyeol said his name made him freeze on the spot. “It’s fine.”

Biting his lower lip, Baekhyun started to walk backwards. “I’m sorry for coming here.”

As Baekhyun turned around to leave, Chanyeol caught his hand. Tentatively, Baekhyun looked over his shoulder.

“Stay,” Chanyeol breathed out shakily. “I want you to stay.” Their eyes met for a moment before Baekhyun looked at the door again, and Chanyeol loosened his hold a little. “I want you to stay. But only if you want to.”

Sighing, Baekhyun nodded and turned to face Chanyeol. “I want to stay,” he admitted softly. “I don’t know why but I keep thinking about you. I keep thinking about that CD. About those videos on it and how I should have watched the whole thing properly so that I might remember something. I looked so happy in those videos. And I just…I keep…I can’t stop thinking about you.” Touching Chanyeol’s cheek, Baekhyun caressed it softly with his thumb. “Your face keeps appearing in my mind and I just…I really can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Why are you here, Baekhyun?”

“I don’t really know.”

“Why are you here?” Chanyeol asked again, softly. His breath hitched when Baekhyun’s hand came up to his right cheek. Desperately, he wanted to cover the back of Baekhyun’s hand with his own but he knew that he shouldn’t.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun whispered, his voice almost inaudible. Dragging his fingers across Chanyeol’s cheekbones, Baekhyun slowly moved his hand down to Chanyeol’s chin. Jutting a thumb out, he used it to trace Chanyeol’s bottom lips.

A shiver ran down Chanyeol’s spine as he inhaled sharply at the contact. But Baekhyun wasn’t pulling away. He merely continued his ministration, mapping Chanyeol’s face with his long and beautiful fingers while Chanyeol stayed put, allowing Baekhyun to do whatever he wanted.

“I shouldn’t be here. I don’t even know why I’m doing this.”

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol assured.

“Can I kiss you?” Baekhyun whispered.

“If you want to.”

Standing on his tip-toe, Baekhyun gently pressed his lips against Chanyeol’s as he placed his hands on the latter’s shoulder to balance himself. “Can I come here again tomorrow?” Baekhyun asked, sounding tentative after he planted his feet back to the ground.

“If you want to.”

And Baekhyun did want to.

Baekhyun turned up the next day. And the day after. And every day for the next two weeks. It had started of simple, with Baekhyun studying at his house while he thought about new lyrics or composed in his room so that he wouldn’t disturb Baekhyun. Then they had started going out, to coffee shops, to the park, and for dinner.

It almost felt like Baekhyun hadn’t lost his memory at all.

Almost.

“Here’s our dressing room.”

Looking around, Baekhyun smiled. “It feels cozy,” he concluded before settling down on the tattered couch. “So we used to…”

“Keep our equipment here?” Chanyeol looked around as he nodded. “Yeah. It’s mostly only my drum set though because it’s so big. But Minseok and Jongdae leave their bass and guitar here sometimes too. And you only have a mic so – ”

“No,” Baekhyun interrupted, causing Chanyeol to turn to him with a questioning look on his face. “I meant…” Baekhyun’s voice grew softer as his ears turned redder. “I meant like…did we…do anything here?”

“Do…” Chanyeol paused to contemplate Baekhyun’s words but nothing came to his mind. “Do anything here?” he settled for repeating the other’s questions.

“You know.” But Chanyeol really didn’t. “You know,” Baekhyun said again and shifted a little. “Did we do anything here?”

“Not real – ” Oh. Realisation settled on Chanyeol’s face. “Oh.” Chuckling a little, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. We did.” He couldn’t help but sneak a peek at Baekhyun’s face, smiling when he saw that the other was obviously curious yet embarrassed. “A few times,” he decided to add just to see Baekhyun blush even more.

“Cool.” Eyes roaming around the room, Baekhyun started humming a small tune to himself. He didn’t know where he got the melody from but it just came into his mind. From the corner of his eye, he spied a sad expression on Chanyeol’s face and could guess that it was one of their original songs that he had used to sing. Abruptly stopping, Baekhyun cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say when he spotted a tower of cushions on sitting in a corner. “You want to do something fun?” Grinning, he turned to Chanyeol, eyes sparkling with mirth. “We could build a pillow fort,” he continued, gesturing to the pile of pillows at the side. “And then we could watch a movie.”

Shrugging, Chanyeol started walking towards where the stack was. “Sure.”

They started off haphazardly, without a plan and merely throwing pillows at every empty space they could find in front of the small television screen. Then, Chanyeol created a system to alternate the pillow colours and build them in a horizontal manner. It didn’t work any better but he tried.

Halfway through piling the pillows up, Baekhyun noticed something off about Chanyeol, but he didn’t call the other out about it until he realised why Chanyeol was looking so sad. 

“Chanyeol.”

The drummer stopped rearranging the pillows on the floor.

“We’ve done this before, haven’t we?”

Silence greeted Baekhyun’s ears.

“We’ve done this before, haven’t we?” Baekhyun repeated firmly.

Chanyeol was shaking his head, but his answer said otherwise. “It’s okay. We can do it again.”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whispered when they were down to the last set of pillows. “I’m sorry I can’t remember.”

“It’s not your fault.” Flashing Baekhyun a wide smile, Chanyeol stood up and dusted his hands off as if he had just completed a long and arduous task and not that he had just been building a fort out of pillows. “I’ll go get some snacks. You can pick a movie.”

Fifteen minutes later, Chanyeol was sat on the floor, pillows propped behind his back and Baekhyun sitting beside him, a small gap between them. Packets of chips lay at their foot and the only light in the room was coming from the television screen.

Baekhyun had picked Jurassic Park so currently, the shrieks of dinosaurs were filling the room as well.

At one point in the movie, a dinosaur appeared all of a sudden, it was something like a jump scare, startling Baekhyun and he moved closer to Chanyeol, grabbing the other’s arm for emotional support.

“That was nice,” Baekhyun concluded when the movie ended, acting like he hadn’t been half-hiding behind Chanyeol’s arm for the second half of the movie. “For the record, I didn’t find the movie that scary.”

“Sure,” Chanyeol said drily.

“I was only using it as an excuse to hold your hand.”

“Huh.” When Baekhyun’s words sunk in, Chanyeol whipped his head to look at Baekhyun. “What? Were you being serious?”

Avoiding eye contact with Chanyeol, Baekhyun nodded.

Sighing, Baekhyun pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them. “I don’t remember anything, Chanyeol. I really don’t.” Resting his head on his folded arms, Baekhyun tilted his head a little to look up at the other. “But I wish I did.”

“I know, baby, I know.”

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and it was like Baekhyun was practically staying over at Chanyeol’s place. Most of his school notes were scattered in the living room and he even had his own cup there (it was his old cup to begin with anyway). Hanging out at coffee shops to having dinner at the roadside, taking walks in parks to lazing around and talking about music, Baekhyun didn’t even know what their relationship was anymore. But he was surely loving every second of it.

“Why don’t you just move in?” Kyungsoo asked as Baekhyun unbuckled his seatbelt.

Since Baekhyun’s car was getting fixed, he had pleaded Kyungsoo to drop him off at Chanyeol’s apartment. “Why should I?” he laughed, opening the door. “Love you!” he shouted before climbing out and shutting the door. As he started to hum, he saw a familiar back and grinned to himself. Not knowing what overtook him, he began to run towards the person in front of him and jumped on his back. “Chanyeol!” he exclaimed, laughing when the other almost lost his balance but still cared about grabbing on to Baekhyun’s legs first.

“I thought your car was broken?” Chanyeol asked, sounding confused.

“It is. I got Kyungsoo to send me here,” Baekhyun explained.

“You didn’t have to come here if it was too inconvenient…”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun chuckled. “I came here in a friend’s car. It isn’t inconvenient. Besides,” he said as he jumped off Chanyeol’s back to climb the stairs behind the latter. “I wanted to see you.”

“I’m starting to think that you’re falling in love with me.”

Scoffing, Baekhyun playfully punched Chanyeol’s lower back and being as dramatic as he was, Chanyeol feigned injury and clutched onto his chest as he pretended to fall backwards, making Baekhyun shriek when he thought that Chanyeol was going to fall onto him.

Straightening his back, Chanyeol flashed Baekhyun a wide grin. “Kidding.”

“You wish,” Baekhyun answered belatedly.

“I need to crash,” Baekhyun announced the moment he stepped past Chanyeol’s threshold.

“Don’t you have your own house?” Chanyeol teased, but he was feeling queasy on the inside. He hated bringing up anything related to Baekhyun’s parents but he just couldn’t stop himself. 

Clicking his tongue, Baekhyun shook his head. “Yeah, but my parents are annoying. I’m like, what? Twenty-seven? And they still treat me like I’m twenty-one. I lost my memory, I didn’t lose my life.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Chanyeol scolded seriously, making the atmosphere tense.

But it only lasted for a while as Baekhyun cracked a lazy smile at him from where he was lying down on the couch. “Sorry. Did I make you worry?”

“Did you drink?” Chanyeol asked, suddenly noticing how lethargic Baekhyun’s movements were and how the other was smiling a little too much.

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Baekhyun used his fingers to show Chanyeol how much he had drank. “Just a little bit. Because Med school is so stressful and I have to wear these stupid suits for my presentations.” Sighing, Baekhyun tried loosening his tie to no avail. “Can you take my clothes off for me?”

Chanyeol groaned and went into the kitchen to fetch Baekhyun a glass of ice water. “Drink,” he said as he shoved the cup in front of Baekhyun. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“At least help me take off the tie,” Baekhyun whine, but he accepted the cup from Chanyeol, sighing contentedly at how cool the touch was to his fingers.

“Fine,” Chanyeol relented and started undoing the knot in Baekhyun’s tie as the other obediently finished the cup of water.

Once Baekhyun was done, he set the glass of the floor with surprising ease and pushed Chanyeol’s hand away before he stood up.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol asked, half-suspicious and half-worried.

“I need,” he stopped to hiccup. “I need a bed.” Having said that, Baekhyun began to move towards the direction of Chanyeol’s bedroom with a sort of careless grace and Chanyeol was too amused by the scene to help him. It didn’t look like Baekhyun needed any help anyway as he managed to stumble into the room before he was out of Chanyeol’s sight.

Looking at the empty glass on the floor, Chanyeol shook his head. It seemed like losing his memory didn’t make him lose his shitty alcohol tolerance.

About fifteen minutes later, after Chanyeol was done checking the news on his phone and replying to text messages, he got up and decided to check on Baekhyun. Upon entering his room, the first thing he noticed was a black suit jacket hanging on the back of his chair. The next thing he saw was a pair of black slacks on the floor. Eyeing the lump on his bed and seeing a white dress shirt above the covers, needless to say, Baekhyun was naked underneath it. Or maybe he had his underwear on. Chanyeol hoped he did.

Shaking his head, Chanyeol walked to his table and picked up a few pieces of paper and a pencil before going to the corner of the room to sleep. At least Baekhyun wouldn’t be alone when he woke up.

Three and a half hours later, Baekhyun slowly sat up on the bed, his eyes half-closed as he looked around the room like a lost puppy. It made Chanyeol want to go over and flatten his unruly hair down. Yawning, Baekhyun stretched like fox before scratching his arm. Then his eyes grew comically wide upon noticing Chanyeol’s presence.

“Morning,” Chanyeol greeted in a sing-song tone.

Noticing that his chest was bare, Baekhyun immediately pulled up the covers to hide himself. “Why are you sitting there?” Before Chanyeol could reply, Baekhyun was already answering himself. “So I wouldn’t be alone when I woke up?”

“Ten points to you,” Chanyeol laughed. “Do you feel better?”

“I told you, I only drank a little bit. I was just high, that’s all.”

“You took off all of your clothes,” Chanyeol pointed out drily.

Looking around at his scattered pieces of clothing articles, Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol sheepishly. “Right.” Then he proceeded to look all over the room just to avoid further eye contact with the other

Chanyeol smiled. “Looking for something?”

Shrugging, Baekhyun turned to face Chanyeol again, suddenly feeling less self-conscious about his current state of undress. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he rested his chin on them. “Not particularly. But I spotted a guitar. You play?” At Chanyeol’s hesitance, a look of guilt spreads across Baekhyun’s face. “I’m sorry. I know that you play a guitar, don’t I? It’s just that I really don’t remember anything but at the same time, so many things about you feel so familiar and I just…I don’t know…” Sounding dejected, Baekhyun turned his head down so that his forehead was resting against his knees instead.

Once again, Chanyeol had to ignore the feeling of wanting to walk over and wrap his arms around the other man. Swallowing, he shook his head even if Baekhyun couldn’t see him. “It’s fine, Baekhyun.”

“But it’s not,” Baekhyun said sharply as he whipped his head up. “It’s not fine. Why are you even still trying? I don’t remember you, Chanyeol.”

“Because I love you.”

The ease which Chanyeol had at saying those words made Baekhyun stare at him with wide eyes. “But I’m not even the same person anymore. How can you still say that you love me for sure?”

Sighing, Chanyeol put his paper and pencil aside as he stretched his legs out. Letting the back of his head lean against the back of the wall, he stared at a spot on his ceiling for a short while just to gather his thoughts. Swallowing, Chanyeol turned his head slightly and saw that Baekhyun was still looking at him curiously, a slight frown on his face because he couldn’t understand why and how Chanyeol could be so certain of his feelings. Realising that he had left Baekhyun’s question hanging in the air for too long, Chanyeol took in a deep breath to ready himself, but he still hesitated before speaking. “How can I still say that I love you for sure? That’s because everything that I love about you is still there inside of you. You losing your memories of me didn’t take away your personality or your charm. You’re still the same person, Baek, that’s why I still love you.”

The room fell silent but strangely, it wasn’t an awkward feeling at all.

“Can you teach me how to play?” Baekhyun said suddenly.

Surprised, Chanyeol stayed quiet for a few moments before incoherent words started tumbling out of his mouth. When Baekhyun looked at him, puzzled, he slapped his face a few times to regain his own composure much to Baekhyun’s amusement. And there he was just a few seconds ago pouring his heart and soul out to the love of his life who didn’t even remember him. And maybe Chanyeol was thinking too much but he had a feeling that Baekhyun was falling in love with him all over again. “Of course! Of course, I can!”

Scrambling off the floor, Chanyeol quickly grabbed Baekhyun’s pair of slacks and was about to throw it to the other on the bed when he saw that Baekhyun was reaching out for a hoodie. His hoodie.

Staring at Baekhyun, Chanyeol felt his mouth go dry as the other looked back at him sheepishly.

“Can I wear this? Please?” Baekhyun asked. “I don’t really feel like wearing back my suit.”

Chanyeol must have taken a long time to show any reaction because Baekhyun was starting to look worried. “Sure, you can,” he hurriedly said. “Do you need some pa – ?” Before he could finish his question, Baekhyun was already getting off the bed, Chanyeol’s hoodie covering his legs until mid-thigh. The sight was honestly too arousing and Chanyeol could feel a stirring in his pants. Damn hormones. 

Quickly looking away, Chanyeol filled his mind with very unsexy pictures like Kim Jongdae in a dress. Grimacing at the mental image, Chanyeol sincerely wondered what was up with the things he could conjure in his mind.

“Are you going to teach me?” Baekhyun’s voice snapped Chanyeol out of his reveire.

Chanyeol hadn’t even noticed when Baekhyun had moved to the floor. The other had his legs stretched out like Chanyeol and the hem of the hoodie could still reach his mid-thigh. Thank goodness for Chanyeol’s sanity.

Swallowing, Chanyeol nodded, only shifting closer Baekhyun who was sitting next to him when he was sure that he wouldn’t pop a boner again.

 _“You’re not eighteen anymore, Chanyeol,”_ he mentally chided himself.

Suddenly, he realised that his guitar wasn’t with him and he laughed out loud before telling Baekhyun to wait a while, and then standing up to grab the instrument standing next to the door. Passing the guitar to Baekhyun by its neck, he resettled himself back next to Baekhyun, facing the other.

“First, you have to know the fingerings.” Tongue sticking out the side of his lips, Chanyeol began to position Baekhyun’s fingers over the frets for him. “This will give you a C.”

Looking at Chanyeol nervously, Baekhyun only dared to strum when Chanyeol gave him the go sign.

The sound that came out didn’t sound quite right, making Chanyeol choke back a laugh seeing Baekhyun’s horrified expression on his face.

“Hang on,” Chanyeol chuckled as he adjusted Baekhyun’s fingers for him again. Somehow, Baekhyun’s fourth finger had gone off the correct fret. “There,” Chanyeol said, sounding accomplished. Though when Baekhyun strummed again and the sound still wasn’t correct, Chanyeol couldn’t contain his laughter the second time. 

Shooting Chanyeol a glare, Baekhyun shushed the other, refusing his help when Chanyeol tried to move his fingers again. “Like that?” Repositioning his fingers over the guitar frets, Baekhyun tried strumming again, frowning when the sound still wasn’t quite right.

“No,” Chanyeol laughed, trying to adjust Baekhyun’s fingers for the third time. “You need to relax.” Picking up Baekhyun’s index finger, Chanyeol made a point to show how stiff it was by shaking it.

“Doing a surgery seems easier than this,” Baekhyun grumbled but allowed Chanyeol to massage his fingers anyway before letting him position them again.

“And you strum,” Chanyeol said softly, letting go of Baekhyun’s fingers.

Eyebrows etched in concentration, Baekhyun dragged his other hand down the strings, producing an even weirder sound than before.

With a chuckle, Chanyeol automatically reached out for Baekhyun’s fingers on reflex. Then he moved to sit behind the other as Baekhyun shifted front to make space for him behind. “Don’t move them.”

“I didn't!” Baekhyun protested, laughter ringing in his voice.

“Just…” Slower this time, Chanyeol readjusted Baekhyun’s fingers, lightly pressing against them to make sure that none of Baekhyun’s fingers were going to move this time. “Like this,” he whispered right next to Baekhyun’s ears, not even aware that he had gone so close.

As Chanyeol was about to pull away, Baekhyun turned his head slightly, tilting it upwards. Their faces were so close that Chanyeol could count the number of browns flecks there were in each of Baekhyun’s eyes – six and four in his right and left eye respectively. More than that, their lips were close, so close that if either of them were to move a little, they would kiss.

Biting his lower lip, Baekhyun stared up at Chanyeol, a look of uncertainty flashed in his eyes, but it wasn’t the kind that looked like he didn’t know what he was doing. It was more of the kind that showed that he was nervous.

Subconsciously, Chanyeol was leaning forward, or maybe Baekhyun was the one closing the distance. Either ways, their lips connected and a spark went off.

Closing his eyes, Chanyeol curled his hand around Baekhyun’s neck to deepen the kiss.

Whimpering, Baekhyun kissed back with equal, if not more, fervour. Slowly, not breaking the kiss, Baekhyun turned around, Chanyeol’s hoodie riding up his bare thighs, until he could sit in between Chanyeol’s legs with his legs lightly wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist.

Closing his legs, Chanyeol forced Baekhyun to shift up onto his lap. The hoodie that Baekhyun was wearing rode up again and his bare ass was now resting directly above Chanyeol’s clothed cock. Hissing, Chanyeol’s eyes flickered open for a moment, groaning when he saw Baekhyun’s cock hardening against his bare stomach and the other’s plush thighs pressed around his waist.

“I’m starting to think that you were shifting your fingers on purpose,” Chanyeol complained in between their kisses.

“I was,” Baekhyun managed to say, whimpering when he felt Chanyeol’s erection hardening against his ass. Out of breath, Baekhyun pulled away, his face flushed and his lips wet. “Can we…?” Looking embarrassed, Baekhyun gestured to his cock curling up against Chanyeol’s abdomen despite knowing that Chanyeol had probably realised by then. “I’ve been hard for a while.”

“Why? What? How?” Chanyeol spluttered, eliciting a laugh from Baekhyun.

“What do you mean _‘how’_? You’re shirtless and you’re hot. I may have lost my memory but I still have my needs, you know.” Eyes softening, Baekhyun placed a tender kiss to the bridge of Chanyeol’s nose. “Tell me I’m not making use of you.”

“I’m going to be selfish and ask you to tell me that you love me,” Chanyeol whispered.

“Maybe I do.”

Pulling Baekhyun in for another kiss, Chanyeol said against his lips, “you’re not making use of me, Baek. You know that I want this.”

They both didn’t talk about the emotional aspect of what they were about to do. There would always be someone losing out in this game for two. It only depended on whether the person minded it or not.

And Chanyeol didn’t.

Fingers gripping the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt, Baekhyun broke the kiss to pull it over Chanyeol’s head, the other compliant as he lifted his hands up to make it easier for Baekhyun. As soon as his shirt was off, Baekhyun started pulling at his sweatpants. Chuckling, Chanyeol lifted his hips up and allowed Baekhyun to start taking them off. It took a while, making Baekhyun growl in frustration but once they were completely off, including his boxers because Baekhyun was efficient like that, Baekhyun’s fingers were immediately wrapping around his cock, making his eyelids flutter shut in satisfaction.

He felt Baekhyun shifting but he didn’t really think much about it because he was blindly trying to reach for his lube and condoms that he stored in the bottom drawer of his table. Grabbing hold of them and bringing them to his side, he opened his eyes just in time to see Baekhyun opening his mouth and engulfing his cock whole.

“Fuck,” he cursed, hips bucking up on reflex when Baekhyun closed his mouth around his shaft. It had been far too long since anyone had given him a blowjob. “Baekhyun,” he choked out brokenly as the other bobbed his head up and down, trying to swallow more of Chanyeol’s length.

From Chanyeol’s position, he could see tears gathering at the side of Baekhyun’s eyes the more of his cock Baekhyun took in.

“That’s enough. You don’t have to take all of it in.” Chanyeol knew that his voice sounded strained but he didn’t want Baekhyun to hurt himself.

Thankfully, Baekhyun took his advice and used his hand to wrap around all the he couldn’t cover with his mouth before he started sucking. Using his tongue, he gave kitten licks to Chanyeol’s erection, making sure that his teeth didn’t scrape against the other’s sensitive skin, as he rubbed his thumb up and down the top of Chanyeol’s cock.

“Baek,” Chanyeol groaned, pushing at the other’s shoulder and Baekhyun immediately took it as a hint to stop, relasing Chanyeol’s erection with a pop. The loss of warmth made Chanyeol sob a little but the pretty sight that greeted his eyes made him forget it. Baekhyun’s lips were plump, all red and swollen, shiny with his saliva as he panted harshly. His eyes were clouded with desire and his cheeks were flushed.

Noticing the bottle of lube beside Chanyeol, Baekhyun grabbed it and squeezed a lump of it onto his hand before bringing it to his back. While Chanyeol had wanted to put the condom on, his mind froze when he realised that Baekhyun was actually fingering himself. Resisting the urge to look, Chanyeol quickly wore the condom. Soon, Baekhyun was slicking him up, and then climbing back into his lap. Placing his hands on the Chanyeol’s shoulders, Baekhyun met Chanyeol’s eyes. Taking in a deep breath, Baekhyun lifted himself up with one hand and used his other to line Chanyeol’s cock to his entrance. Then releasing his breath, he slowly sunk down onto Chanyeol, squeezing his eyes shut as he slowly got accustomed to Chanyeol’s size filling him. It had been way too long since he had something this big in him.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Chanyeol said, his voice low. “You should have given yourself more preparation.”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun insisted, his voice strained. “Just give me a moment.”

Pressing a comforting kiss to Baekhyun’s shoulder, Chanyeol used a hand to support Baekhyun’s lower back and another to hold his hip. “Slowly, baby.”

It took Baekhyun a little more before he was fully seated on Chanyeol’s lap. By then, he was breathing harshly and beads of sweat were rolling down the side of his face. His body was shaking slightly too and it made Chanyeol worry.

“Are you okay, hm?” Chanyeol asked gently, touching Baekhyun’s face tenderly. Leaning in to kiss Baekhyun’s lips, he felt relieved when the other relaxed, melting into the kiss. Pushing his tongue against Baekhyun’s lips, the other parted them easily for Chanyeol.

It was a good distraction from the pain and soon Baekhyun was shifting in Chanyeol’s lap, making the latter hiss at the sudden movement.

When they parted, Chanyeol smiled at Baekhyun. “Ready?”

Nodding, Baekhyun allowed Chanyeol to lift his hips up before pushing them down again. Throwing his head back, Baekhyun’s mouth hung open in pure pleasure. A scream tore its way past his mouth when Chanyeol hit a particular spot. “More,” he breathed out and naturally, Chanyeol complied, increasing his pace. Soon, Baekhyun was helping along, planting his feet firmly to the ground as he bounced in Chanyeol’s lap.

“I love you, baby,” Chanyeol whispered into Baekhyun’s ears as he came, making the other whimper brokenly against his shoulder, coming a few seconds later.

It took a while longer than Baekhyun for Chanyeol to come down from his high and after he did, Baekhyun finally lifted his head up to look at him. Smiling sadly at Chanyeol, Baekhyun stroke the former’s face. “I wish I could say the same words back to you one day.”

When Chanyeol looked closer, he could see pass the sadness in Baekhyun’s smile, finding a glimmer of hope hidden there and if he looked really hard, there seemed to be drop of happiness in it as well. “I’ll wait.”

“What are your plans for today?” Kyungsoo asked over lunch.

Putting his phone back into his pocket after replying a text from Chanyeol, Baekhyun smiled at his friend. “I’m going to Chanyeol’s place.”

“To do your work?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “Not really. He’s composing something and wants me to listen to it. I mean, I want to listen to it too, so.”

Kyungsoo hummed in response, not disinterested.

“Question.”

“No.”

“Have you ever missed someone a lot before?”

“No.”

Nodding in understanding, Baekhyun frowned to himself. “Well, I have. I do. I’ve been missing someone – ”

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo corrected helpfully.

Groaning, Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “I’ve been missing _Chanyeol_ a lot recently. I miss him a lot when we’re not together.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I really do!” Baekhyun insisted, taking a little offense at how nonchalant Kyungsoo was acting about it.

Chuckling, Kyungsoo smiled at Baekhyun. “I know. You sound like you’re in love with him, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo decided to point out, being the good friend that he was, a teasing grin on his face. “You sound like you did the time when you had first fallen in love with him.”

Pausing for a moment, Baekhyun looked down at his cup of coffee to collect his thoughts. Facing Kyungsoo with a small but hopeful smile, he asked, “really?”

Giving back a gentle smile, Kyungsoo nodded. “Yeah.”

“And?”

“And you were really happy,” Kyungsoo said honestly. 

Beaming, Baekhyun laughed all of a sudden. He was mostly laughing at himself, and Kyungsoo could only shake his head at him fondly. “I should have noticed this a long time ago.”

“Mom, dad, I have something to tell you guys.”

“Sounds serious,” his mother commented lightly with a quiet laugh.

“I’m moving in with Chanyeol.”

The tea cup fell from Mrs. Byun’s grip, its contents spilling all over the carpeted floor as the porcelain cup rolled around. “Oh no.” Her face morphed into one of horror and worry.

“Why is this happening again…” Mr. Byun mumbled to himself as he shook his head forlornly. “Why is this happening again?”

“But I won’t be dropping out of Med school this time,” Baekhyun reassured, though judging by the devastated look on their faces, it wasn’t what they were worried about. “I’m going to become a doctor?” he tried again but they still looked as if the world was ending. Well, maybe, it was like that to them. But for Baekhyun, it felt like his world was just about to begin again. “I’ll see you guys!” Flashing his parents a bright smile, Baekhyun then dashed out of the living room, but not before he heard his father groaning in despair.

Getting into his car, he knew that he only had one destination in mind. Having driven there so many times, he didn’t even need the help of the map anymore. And in no time, he was parked by the roadside of Chanyeol’s apartment building. It usually took him longer than that but he could swear that he wasn’t speeding.

Quickly climbing out of his car, he almost forgot to lock the doors when he spotted Chanyeol from a distance. It seemed that the other spotted him too because his face suddenly lit up and he did a big wave to Baekhyun.

Unable to contain his excitement, Baekhyun was almost jumping up and down as he waved back to Chanyeol.

“Why are you so happy?” Chanyeol asked, laughing, when he reached where Baekhyun was standing. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you go up?”

“Chanyeol, I love you.” Baekhyun rushed the words out. “I love you,” he said again, slower the second time.

Confused, Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s shoulder to calm the other down. “Breath, Baek, breathe. What are you talking about?” Chanyeol’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest. He couldn’t have heard it correctly. “What were you saying?”

Gulping a mouthful of fresh air, Baekhyun repeated his words. “I love you. I said, I love you.”

“Do you – ” Anxious but excited, Chanyeol began laughing unsurely. “Do you remember?” he asked tentatively, not knowing if that was the correct response.

Baekhyun’s face fell at the question and he shook his head sadly. “I don’t,” he admitted truthfully. “And I’m sorry,” he hurriedly added on. Looking up at Chanyeol, Baekhyun was pretty sure that his eyes were shining with sincerity. “But I love you. I know that I do now.”

“Baek…”

“I know you may think that I’m lying but what would I get out of it?” Baekhyun smiled brightly. “I don’t love you like I used to anymore, Chanyeol. But I think I’ve fallen in love with you again. I know that I’ve fallen in love with you again.”

“You’re being serious right now?” Chanyeol asked, not knowing whether to believe his ears.

Throwing his head back in laughter, Baekhyun took Chanyeol’s hand. Looking straight into his eyes, Baekhyun stood closer to the other. “Yes! I’m being serious. Be with me,” Baekhyun said, sounding surer than ever. “Be with me, Chanyeol.”

A tender smile appeared on Chanyeol’s face. Gently, he touched Baekhyun’s face. “Of course, baby.”

Without wasting another moment, Baekhyun surged forward, throwing his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and connecting their lips together.

“Also,” Baekhyun started after breaking the kiss. “I kind of told my parents that I’ll be moving in with you – not that I need their permission, but I realised that I haven’t even asked for your permission.”

“It’s your home as much as it’s mine, Baek.”

Baekhyun didn’t remember anything about their past but it was okay because they could make new memories together. It was okay because they were still together. It was okay because they both still felt like they could be the happiest people in this world as long as they stayed by each other side.

They had a plan together, a plan they had not been able to go through with, but nothing had ever stopped them before and nothing was going to start stopping them.

All they had to do was to come up with a new plan.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Tweet me or DM me at [@baekingneeds](https://twitter.com/baekingneeds) or [@parkingfare](https://twitter.com/parkingfare)  
> Curiouscat [(main)](https://curiouscat.me/baekingneeds) [(fic)](https://curiouscat.me/parkingfare)
> 
> Comments are love <3 I've been really down recently T__T
> 
> P.S.: I went for EXO's fansign and now I have too many albums. Please buy them off me? DM me on twitter! Please help me, I'm so broke right now T____T


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